The Pocket Universe

by | JBE, Volume 1

  • Be extremely present.
  • Set inspiring music.
  • Set a positive intention. (“This is what I want to experience.”)
    • This story will be beautiful.
    • It will speak to my heart.
    • It will take me onto an adventure.
  • To relax, you may try to:
    • Listen to the music beforehand.
    • Meditate or do breathwork.
    • Observe nature.

In a weathered closet, I saw a universe of irredeemable beauty. My eyes misted over in joy; hardly could I hold the rivers back. A galactic invitation stood in my room.

When I looked closer, I noticed an alliance of galaxies. They mysteriously floated apart, spinning like whirligigs, yet made no sound. They reminded me of cornflakes scattered in milk, unattended and already moist: I wondered where has the child gone from the breakfast. But strapped in a seat, my soul could only venture deeper into the universe, into the story, into the ever-present unfolding of life which is happening now.

My eyes watered, as I waved goodbye to the alive galaxies. I greeted alluring nebulas. In the clouds of dust, I heard whispering voices. Each nebula abounded with seductively tender hands; a simple graze would melt a thousand human desires. They were pulling me nearer, but I hurtled too quickly to kiss them. I declined down the universe like a comet, trailing fire. All paradigms broke down at that unbelievable velocity – reality was a miracle; the miracle was being captured in my palm; captured nowhere else but in the eternal moment which is happening to you now. The music is perfectly guiding you. Follow it.

I foraged a path through the glamorous nebulas. They sang festive melodies. Long they glittered behind as I approached a monotone realm of black holes. With a sinking feeling and quiet lungs, I snuck around the gargantuan acupunctures in space. Hungry wolves in the dark. They were always on the move, never to be seen outside shadows. How far were they, I asked? Although their black humming was scratching my skin, what unforeseeable wonders awaited beyond their event horizon? I marveled.

I could not withhold an exalt. I leaned forward into the closet. The rusted wooden frame was cracking; I barely held onto it with hands. My previous self was spiraling down the infinite magnitude of the cosmos.

In the blink of an eye, I saw Betelgeuse, and beyond its magnificent gleam I saw Neptune shivering in an arctic tempest. I did not have a blanket at the time. With regrets I commenced a silent flyby past the solemn planet.

Before I wiped my eyes, a thunder struck and pierced my vision in half. Earth was calling upon me – I leaned farther into the closet, pushing the body’s utmost tension. Sounds of rage and despair hit me like a drought. The world was at war. Above dusky shades of Mars and below the celestial plane of Venus, women were buried in debris and children cried under trails of whizzing bullets, and amidst the pain and suffering I saw forests on fire and sobbing whales being butchered alive. Chaos, a completely spun-out-of-control chaos, one would exclaim! I discerned a subtle puppeteer’s string, however, leading the state of disarray. It was love… A twisted, limited form of it, but love, nevertheless. This speck of dust was home to vastly deluded beings who ordained endless cruelties, who elected and lived under the reign of mad kings and supreme leaders, who were meanwhile capable of great affection and friendship, who were dreaming of not being in a dream, and thus they made hell of the sole, pale blue heaven they had. The music guides you. Do you notice?

Straining my eyes, I swayed to look even closer.

Behind a dusty window, I noticed a human silhouette pressed against the glass. It was you. Your eyes were as watery as mine. In them glimmered a light you had mistaken for a comet’s reflection. But I was the light, travelling at an inconceivable speed down the cosmos’ infinite scope. It was me; you fool! I attempted to vocalize through language and communicate the truth withal. Did I ache to shout to you from the heavens! Oh, I did. The deafening beauty of yours jailed me in awe. Yet it seemed to have shackled itself in heartless thoughts. You were oblivious to your own beauty. You were a withered flower.

Wake up! I screamed so desperately that waves crashed onto shores. Awaken to the restless temple of magnificence! I screamed with my lungs dry. Awhile, a hope flounced around me. Did you overhear the comet’s calling? Did you catch the banging voice? But my confidence faltered, as you frozenly lowered your eyes. I lost you, for I failed to reach you, but I could not dwell; you were merely a mote of dust in an infinite universe.

There were things far greater than you.

Into your dust I hence traveled, plummeting into a sea of deep-blue iris. Therein I witnessed orchestras drowning in a clamor. Choirs of tirelessly singing cells made up your body. Their maestro, the great conductor, was nowhere to be seen, until I came to an awakening that would incite my voyage even deeper. The conductor has been diligently swinging the wand since the birth of time. Never did he strike an error. It was Love, Life, The Puppeteer! What a gorgeous universe resided inside your womb!

At that point, my mind was at craze. Music brought me to an orgasm. Hardly could I distinguish between solar systems coming into life and electrons mindlessly spinning around atomic citadels. But wait. These atoms were not mindless. In fact, far from it. I became wildly alive upon the realization everything I subdued as separate stood on the shoulders of these little creatures. Infinitely intelligent creatures indeed… As these particles perfectly knew their purpose. They spun and pulsed and quivered without anyone advising them how. I could yell at them. Threaten them; spin faster, or…! But in that I would kill the spontaneous process of Nature. Life’s ingenuity would always precede one’s paradigm and would never bend the knee before it.

I sailed past the whirring particles as I had flown past Neptune. I eagerly crossed the verge into unknown. Soon after, the universe dove into darkness. What was left was deprived of everything. Colors, though sometimes too bright for an eye, were gone in memories. So were echoes of chirping birds, though sometimes too irritating. So were all smells and touches; all of which had previously filled existence with the illusion of something. Herein beyond particles, the minuscule silence obliged even the maddest kings to bow in humility. My very existence felt tiny and insignificant, and for the very same reason I humbly broke into tears.

I embraced the lulling peace. The universe was eternally present within me, swaying me in arms – just as it sways you reading this writing. You two cannot be separate. You are sincerely grateful for the breath which gives you life. Your purpose is to explore the beauty of life.

Without a burden, I forgave everyone I had ever wronged. I said goodbye to tranquil nights on the porch and waved in farewell to the family I had left behind. With all my weight I could finally let go. At last, I felt the old wooden frame give up in one final crack. I glanced off the frame and dropped through the closet. The universe soaked and soaked. I longed to drown in its absorbing peace. It soaked like a sponge whatever judgment I had thrown at it. The universe appreciated my limited hatred. It repaid me with selfless love. It was too immense. I did not need a mortal self anymore – what a pretentious game that would be. Life, Abundance, Vigor, Harmony, the four noble brothers of the Horsemen of Apocalypse were here, guiding me along in the dark. Each were far greater than their repressed shadows. I was on the brink of submerging into the infinite peace when signs of sunlight rippled through the void:

Suddenly, a notice came to my senses. The engines were still humming in the dark – I was ploughing forward without a stop! This was the frontier ripe for exploration and discovery. In search of new spectacular mysteries of the universe, I nosed around in all directions, keen on being alive. Here below the roots of rationale, compasses crumbled into futile cog machines. Where were these sensory ripples coming from?

In most mild suspicion, I began to sense an indigo blue color surging out of darkness. I could just discern fluids raising my skin. Were the mysteriously pulling forces actual deep-sea currents, if undoubtedly, I overstepped the graves of space-time? In hesitant laughter, my eyes shed tears. My chin vibrated, for amidst ghostly blinks I recognized stars aflame. Inside the cosmos’ womb not only orchestras sang, but also clusters of stars gleamed! Down the groundless rabbit hole, the holy grail awaited me. The rabbit ate me. I looped around and became Life itself:

I saw deserts in which basked poisonous snakes. I saw an alpenglow of a setting sun comfort anger and bestow calm. I saw the blush of dawn; I saw clouds treading on the heels of a horizon like sheep following a shepherd. I saw eerie tempests which the sun tore apart. I saw mothers without children, and I saw children without mothers. I saw love oust bitten fear. I saw a wingless dragon never meant to cruise the skies. I saw a flock of goldfish sail against a winding current. I saw the world from all angles, each infinitely more beautiful than the last. I saw a fire that never emitted heat. I saw a kingdom rise from rubble. I saw life in the ashes of death. I saw white shadows of a night. I saw a brittle heart of glass, and I saw thousands of shards upon which it shattered. I saw sworn heroes crying over the loss of loved ones. I saw frightened boys stepping up against all odds. I saw their tearful eyes, and I saw their daring courage not led by those eyes. I saw you by the window; even now absorbed by the comet’s diminishing light. I saw keys forged to no locks, and I saw locks that no keys fit into. I saw extraordinaire voyages that life would undertake. I saw all the world’s mirrors, but none reflected anything but love.

All of this is reality, which you are a part of.

And when all deeds had been done and I had seen old pa universe go down on his knees, clocks started ticking backwards, and when I had finally waded through unimaginable depths, life came back to the place I had once called home, to a room in which a man sat and gazed upon his rusted closet.